Innocent Soldier (9780545355698) by Holub Josef

Author:Holub, Josef [Holub, Josef]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-545-35569-8
Publisher: Scholastic Paperbacks
Published: 2005-05-26T16:00:00+00:00

18

My lieutenant is surplus to requirements. He has no more men left to command. His platoon consists of two horses, himself and me. It doesn’t take much imagination to appreciate that the only reason we’re still alive is because the lieutenant’s belly gripes ensured that we missed the battle at Smolensk.

The regimental commander comes by in person to take a look at the lieutenant. The two of them are well acquainted. In fact, it turns out one of them is the uncle, and the other is the nephew. The wellborn colonel is reasonably pleased with his nephew’s state of health. Even so, he pulls a face, and scolds him in French and German, of which I only understand the German. “Thunder and lightning!” he snorts. Had his nephew taken leave of his senses when he ignored the order to report to the hospital in Vilnius and get himself cured? And had he instead taken off after the army, to meet his death with it? Then he wrinkles up his nose, sniffs at his nephew, and barks in disgust: “Thunder and lightning! It’s high time my nephew changed back into being a respectably scented lieutenant, got rid of his filthy gear, and cleaned himself up.”

In less elegant language, I am instructed to put the lieutenant and his tunic into militarily acceptable shape. After all, it is the foremost duty of an officers servant not to let his master run around in such foul condition.

We go looking for a suitable lake. The first is too close to the highway. Too many filthy foot soldiers and whole cavalry regiments, including horses, have already availed themselves of it. The water looks like it, and it stinks horribly. This lake wouldn’t exactly get us clean, so we look farther afield. And because the war is just now in a phase of relative calm, the colonel has left us a whole day to that end. So we have plenty of time to do our laundry, and we don’t need to stop at the first puddle we see.

The second and third lakes don’t impress us, either. In the second there are bodies of men and horses floating about, looking none too healthy. The third smells bad, and its shores are muddy. Whereas what I’m looking for is a clean spot for my laundry, with fine sand. After all, I need something to scour the clothes with. The fourth lake is a long way from the highway, and accordingly clean, with a sandy shore. And it has the great advantage of being deserted. Just a dozen or so cranes promenading along the shore.

Just to be safe, we observe the lake and surroundings from a distance. No Cossacks or Bashkirs or other people. No suspicious movements in the adjoining forest, either. So we have the lake to ourselves, and I can wash uniforms in peace.

Somewhere in the distance there’s a whump of artillery. I wonder if another battle is in progress? Never mind. It’s so far away that it doesn’t concern us, and we don’t need to think about it.

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